Long-term recovery is more than staying sober; it’s about living life, on life’s terms. That means embracing the reality of life's challenges and changes with acceptance and flexibility - people included. Whether it’s with a partner, your parents, coworkers, or friends, relationships can feel like turbulent water. A lot of us guys never learned how to communicate, set boundaries, or handle conflict in a healthy way. Which means acceptance and flexibility with others isn’t our forte. That’s where Dialectical Behavior Therapy—better known as DBT—comes in.
Serenity Park Recovery Center’s clinical Ava Titsworth puts it like, ““Recovery is about learning how to interact differently with others.” And for a lot of men, that’s a brand-new concept. DBT offers a structured way to learn those interaction skills without judgment or guesswork. You don’t have to be a naturally good communicator—you just have to be open to learning.
No matter who you are, good communication skills can be tough to learn. You throw in addiction and substance abuse, and good luck. Relationships get messy. Friendships blow up. It’s not just about the arguments or the lies—it’s the deeper issue of not knowing how to say what you need or how to hear what someone else is saying.
“Many men in addiction treatment never learned how to communicate their needs effectively,” Ava says. And that’s not a moral flaw—it’s a missing skillset.
So how does DBT help men in recovery talk through conflict and express themselves better? It gives you frameworks—step-by-step guides to use when the conversation starts getting uncomfortable. One of the most effective tools is called DEAR MAN, a structured way to ask for what you need without being aggressive or passive.
Describe the situation/Express how you feel/Assert what you want or need\Reinforce why your ask matters
Mindful—stay focused on your goal\Appear confident\Negotiate if needed
It may feel awkward at first, but it works—especially when emotions are high. And when you’re trying to protect your self-respect during tough conversations? DBT has another acronym for that: FAST.
Fair to yourself and others\Apologies (don’t overdo it)\Stick to your values\Truthful without exaggerating
According to Ava: “We use acronyms like FAST to maintain self-respect and DEAR MAN to resolve conflict.” They’re easy to remember and even easier to apply once you’ve had a little practice.
“It’s not about who’s right or wrong—it’s about listening,” Ava says. That might sound simple, but it’s a game-changer. For guys who’ve been in survival mode for years—dodging emotions, numbing conflict, or pushing people away—this can feel completely new. But when you start actually listening (instead of waiting to respond), relationships begin to shift. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present.
Using DBT skills can improve your relationships in recovery—and your recovery itself. When you can speak honestly, set boundaries, and handle emotions without shutting down or blowing up, life gets a whole lot easier. You’re less isolated. You’re more connected. And you start feeling more confident in who you are and how you show up.
In many ways, this is the deeper healing that happens in recovery. Not just putting the drink or the drug down—but learning how to be a better friend, partner, son, coworker, and man. That’s what real change looks like.
A lot of men walk into treatment thinking strength means not needing anyone. Real strength looks like knowing how to repair a relationship after conflict. How to express yourself clearly. How to listen, even when it’s hard.
You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. Call Serenity Park today to start building relationships that don’t just survive recovery, but thrive in it.